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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

BREAKING BIZARRO NEWS! The Latest in the Bigfoot DNA Saga

Robert Lindsay, in his latest blog entry on BIGFOOT NEWS, asks:

"Was Melba Ketchum raped by a Bigfoot!?"

In case you didn't know, Ms. Ketchum, is the Dr. in charge of the long-delayed Bigfoot DNA paper that has kept everyone hanging for years. Will it ever come out, especially with these odd statements that seem to be coming from its lead author about Bigfoot braiding horses manes, zapping people in pastures, and generally misbehaving in strange and metaphysical ways?

I have also spoken with the source for this article, to be kept totally anonymous, who swears that this story came DIRECTLY from Ketchum herself in a person-to-person conversation. So, either the source is lying, or this really happened and the Ketchumites are lying about it to cover it up. Who knows? Lindsay's version differs somewhat, in small ways, from what I heard, but some of that seems to be his conjecture as to what happened. Take it with a grain or two of salt.

Here is a brief excerpt. Read the rest through the link above...

One day Melba went out to a part of her pasture “where the Bigfoots like to hang out.” This is an odd part of the pasture. She says that as soon as you open the gate to this part of the property, “you are likely to get zapped.” By this she apparently means hit by Bigfoot infrasound. Frightening! She apparently went out there to attend to her horses in some manner.
At some point while she was attending to her horses, she seems to have lost conscientiousness [sic, should be "consciousness"]. Then she had some sort of a “lost time” event. Say she was with the horses at 7 PM. Next thing she knew, she woke up and it was say 9 PM. When she awoke, she became aware somehow (not sure how) that she had been unconscious for quite some time. Spooky!
She was lying on the ground in her stable on the ground, possibly clad in a dress. At that time, she became aware that she was “sore” in her vaginal area. There was no reason for her to feel that way. She concluded that a Bigfoots may have somehow zapped her, rendered her unconscious somehow, and possibly raped her.

In her now defunct, and
supposedly bankrupt,
laboratory, hard at play.
If this is true, we have to really wonder if this paper will ever come out, save in some metaphysical online journal. If the above event really did occur, one might ask, Did she obtain a DNA sample?
It should be hoped that Melba is well, and still able to do actual, reality-based Science work to finish this long and drawn-out project.

Read the whole article for more fascinating news, including the recent absurd flap, "Foolish nonsense of MABRC and whether or not they had a Bigfoot body."

Here is an article dealing with the closure of the Ketchum lab business in Texas, or, at least, its move to a new location and business model. Be sure to check the link to the BBB before you put all your Bigfooting eggs in this basket.


Here is a spoof abstract that satirized other Out-There beliefs said to be held by the great Bigfoot Scientist.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Robert/Bob is just a liar.